what to say when someone loses pet ?A real change of mindset！！！

In the field of hospice care, there is a saying called: **"Four Paths of Life"**, which are thanking, loving, apologizing, and saying goodbye. A person's life is a process of practicing these four paths. If every act of thanking, loving, apologizing, and saying goodbye is done, there will be fewer regrets at the end of life.

Through numerous educational efforts, we know that comforting patients with depression by cheering them up can be the most dangerous approach. Similarly, when losing a pet, people are often fragile and sensitive. How should we provide appropriate emotional support to them?

My cat passed away... so sad...

Don't be sad, be strong!

“Telling you not to be sad” or “you need to be strong” – even if well-intentioned, such words have very limited effect. If possible, who wouldn't want to continue living happily?

What we need to do is help those who have lost a pet release their emotions, accept the reality of their pet's passing, and truly have the courage to continue living.

In hospice care or what we are more familiar with as palliative care, there is a saying called: **"Four Paths of Life"**, which are thanking, loving, apologizing, and saying goodbye. A person's life is a process of practicing these four paths. I believe that if every act of thanking, loving, apologizing, and saying goodbye is done, there will be fewer regrets at the end of life.

Applying the concept of the "Four Paths of Life", what we can do when comforting a friend is:

First, express your sympathy and understanding, letting them know that you fully comprehend their sadness and pain, and that you are willing to listen and accompany them through this time.

Listen to their stories and experiences with their pet, allowing them the opportunity to express the sweetness and regrets in between. You can use the ritualistic process of the "Four Paths of Life" to accompany them in the remembrance process.

Four Paths of Life

Thanking: Tell your pet thank you, thanking them for their companionship and protection, thanking them for giving you pure love, and for leaving you beautiful memories. Even, I must thank you for your death; in your final moments, you taught me so much. Knowing death made me want to make changes; your departure made me rethink the meaning of life. Perhaps I will replan my life, living well together with you.

Apologizing: Apologize for the things you did wrong, maybe one time when you lost your temper, or maybe you accidentally let them have an upset stomach. I'm sorry; I hope you know my limitations, my regrets. This also helps to heal my own pain, reconciling with myself.

Loving: Maybe normally I'm shy to express my love, or maybe I tell you my love every day, but in your final moments, I realized how powerless yet powerful the word "love" is. I'm grateful for your arrival; I truly, completely love you. I hope you know that.

Saying Goodbye: Saying goodbye is not forgetting, but properly letting go. Is there anything you're still worried about? I will take good care of myself, my family, and everything you care about. Rest assured.

Besides the "Four Paths of Life", we should respect each person's grieving process and not force or expect them to immediately overcome their sadness. Give them enough time and space to mourn and recover, accompany them in making memorial items, writing letters to their beloved pet in heaven, and provide practical help and support when needed, including helping to handle the pet's funeral, organizing memorial ceremonies, and taking care of their daily living during this time.

It is important to avoid using phrases like "it's just a pet" or "get another one", because for someone who has lost a pet, the pet is part of the family, a companion with emotional bonds. Such remarks only make them angry.

Pain is a natural reaction of life. As "The Little Prince" says: "If you want to create ties, you have to bear the risk of tears."

May the living be calm, and the deceased be at ease.